In 2010, Why in the Hell Is America Still Fighting Colonial Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan?
Wednesday, July 7th, 2010“Never fight a land war in Asia was reputedly advice given by General Douglas MacArthur to President John F. Kennedy, in 1961″
“Never fight a land war in Asia” ,VIZZINI’s (played by Wallace Shawn) advice to THE MAN IN BLACK (played by Cary Elwes) in the Rob Reiner’s brilliant film, THE PRINCESS BRIDE (1987).
From MacArthur to VIZZINI, from the American Caesar to THER PRINCESS BRIDE, it is common knowledge, Never Fight a Land War in Asia, yet here, in 2010, the United States is not just fighting one but TWO Land Wars in Asia, how dumb can you get?
It is 2010, the age of IPHONES, IPODS, IPADS, Wireless Internet, Sex Changes, Cloning, Birth Control, Designer Babies; in an age in which every tradition known to Man has been or is about to be jettisoned, we, the most powerful nation in the history of the world, have kept faith with the most stupid tradition of all, fighting colonial land wars in Asia, not just one colonial land war in Asia, but TWO.
Can any nation get dumber that that? I mean VIZZINI is smarter than our policy makers.
How did this happen? That Americans tossed aside real wisdom in order to fight Colonial Land wars in two countries, but what is even worst, in two ARTIFICIAL COUNTRIES.
Artificial you say?
IRAQ
“Biden’s trip comes at a sensitive time for Iraq. The newly elected parliament is scheduled to meet later this month for the second time since the March 7 vote, but vying political factions remain deadlocked over which bloc has enough support to pick its new leaders, including prime minister.”
There are no Iraqis; it is not an organic country. It is a country of Kurds, Sunni Arabs, Shiite Arabs, Christians, lumped together by Winston Churchill, who created it, perhaps a wee bit tipsy.
As soon as American troops pull out, Iraq will tear itself apart, then the United States will have to make the decision whether to re-invade or just let it devour itself.
The only true Iraqi is the American soldier who died for it.
Churchill sat at a map of the Middle East, looked at the dismembered Ottoman Empire, and neatly drew (Churchill was a very accomplished painter, a much better painter than his contemporary Hitler, who wanted to be a real painter before he became a Nazi) the borders of a new nation, Iraq.
Why would Churchill create Iraq?
A blood debt, The Hashemites led by Prince Faisal( the guy played by Sir Alec Guinness in LAWRENCE OF ARABIA) fought with the British against the Turks durng World War I. Their reward, was to be the acknowledged masters of Arabia. Good deal.
Except, also living in Arabia at the same time, was a blood thirsty, illiterate war lord, Ibn Saud, who had the ambition of conquering Arabia and making it the only country in the world named after a family. He did, and the end result was and is Saudi Arabia.
Churchill owed the Hashemites a Kingdom, maybe Syria?
Alas the Syrians told the Hashemites to keep on moving.
So Winston, carved out Iraq for Faisal, and to his warrior brother, Abdullah, he gave TransJordan, now Jordan.
The creation of these Nations, Iraq and Jordan could fit into the narrative of THE PRINCESSS BRIDE… ”The two rival kingdoms in THE PRINCESS BRIDE are Florin and Guilder. These are the names of two former Dutch currencies, the Florijn and Gulden.” Iraq and Jordan have more in common with FLORIN and GUILDER than reality.
A devotee of President George W. Bush once asked me to submit a draft of a speech he was to give about W. He admired W’s pluck, and the draft was to see if I could book the job as a ghost writer.
Alas for my ghost writing career, I am not a devotee of W, and I do not admire him.
The instructions to me were to compare W to a war leader. It was insinuated that the War Leader be Winston Churchill.
George W. Bush is no Winston Churchill, he is not even a VIZZINI; but I had to find a historical war leader with whom to match him. I needed a criteria.
1-George W.Bush is the son of a President of the United States, who was a real war hero, so our comparable war leader had to have a famous war hero relative.
2-George Bush was a pretty good politician, who was elected Governor of Texas twice, and President of the United States twice. So our comparable war leader had to be a good politician.
3-George W, Bush started a war with a country far across the sea, which was not bothering nor threatening his interests. That had to be the same situation with the comparable war leader.
4-After his initial military victory,Bush imposed a new system of government on the defeated nation, and imposed a foreign leader. That should also be comparable.
Who do we get?
A vainglorius, poppingjay runt, Louis Napoleon of France, Napoleon III.
1-Like W, he had a famous relative, he needed to measure up to; a relative who was a bona fide war hero, his uncle, Napoleon.
2-Napoleon III was a good politican; he had been elected President of the French Second Republic,before he overthrew the Second Republic to declare a second empire.
3-He invaded a country, Mexico, far across the sea, which was not a danger nor threat to him.
4-By force he overthrew the legitimate government of Mexico and installed, with French troops, a new form of Government, with a foreigner, Maximilian as Emperor(think Paul Bremer). Like W, he even had the defeated people hold a vote on the issue; like W, he won the vote.
Napoleon III’s Mexican venture collapsed when he was forced to withdraw French troops; our Iraqi enterprise will collapse, within a year, after the last withdrawal of American combat troops. Then we will have to decide whether to reinvade.
The answer to that question is No.
Left to their own devices, the Sunni Arabs will defeat the Shiites again. If that does not happen quickly, a major bloodbath will ensue. The solution to that is the partition of the artificial, Colonial state of Iraq into Kurdistan, Sunni Iraq(may I suggest Iraq) and Shiite Iraq ( may I suggest Mesopotamia).
Is that so terrible? Czechoslovakia, another artificial country, created by colonial powers, around the same time as Iraq, partitioned itself into the Czech Republic and Slovakia. Partition is sometimes best.
Iraq is the CREATION of Colonialism; it will begin to dissolve as an unitary state as soon as the American troops leave. There is no point even considering re-invasion to prop up this colonial travesty.
Partition of Iraq will have great benefits for America; an independent Sunni nation will be a counter balance to Iran; a Shiite Arab nation will be surprisingly viable and will stay independent from a Shiite Iran(Arab versus Persian).In fact, an independent Shiite Arab country on its border may entice Arab Iranians to think about leaving Iran to join their fellow Shiite Arabs.
An independent Kurdistan would be a pain in the neck to both Iran and Syria, perhaps even leading to the dismemberment of Iran, which is also a remnant of an Imperial past.
It was the stupidity of a runt personality which led to the Colonial War in 2003; it would be more than stupid, it would be criminal if we fought a second colonial war in the near future to maintain an artificial state that does not want to maintain itself.
AFGHANISTAN
We need to withdraw from Afghanistan immediately
Afghanistan itself is another creation of Imperial Britain. It was created artificially by a line drawn on the map by an English Imperialist, in this case, Mortimer Durand.
There has always been a rump Afghanistan centered around Kabul; but the present configuration of Afghanistan is a fake, created by Durand when he sat in a room, and drew a line on a map which created modern Afghanistan. In doing so he divided the Pashtun tribe.
Before the Durand Line, there was no border between Afghanistan and British ruled India(now Pakistan); so the Pashtuns could move easily around. Once that line was drawn, the Pashtuns were split between two nations, through no fault, nor desire nor reason of their own.
That Readers is Colonialism, and we are getting killed to support that? in 2010?
The Taliban is Pashtun. The reason that the Pakistanis won’t come down on them is that Pakistan has many Pashtuns in its Army Establishment.
The solution, rather than fight an ongoing colonial war, is to jettison the Afghanistan of Colonial creation, totally.
Partition Afghanistan.
The Northern part, outside of the Pashtuns will be a new, safe, moderate, peaceful Sufi Afghanistan.
The Southern Part, the Taliban part, the Pashtun part will be allowed to join Pakistan; Afghan Pashtuns will be allowed to join their fellow Pashtuns and become Pakistanis.
Once the Taliban Pashtuns are in Pakistan, we will have a surrogate, the Pakistani army, and a nation with assets, to control, and contain them.
The Taliban was created by Pashtuns in Pakistan, let Pakistan have the job of finishing them.
The partition of Afghanistan would be a bold counter maneuver to a Colonial War which is maintaining fake national borders, drawn by a British Colonialist.
We cannot afford these wars, cannot afford them in American lives nor American treasure, but that is not the issue. These wars are dumb, expecially dumb in 2010, when we are fighting them to support acts of Colonialism.
For our battered Homeland, immediately withdrawing from Afghanistan and supporting its partition is the smart thing to do. To do otherwise is to bring down on us the ghost of Talleyrand, who said about a Napoleonic misadventure, “It is worst than a sin, it is a mistake.”
They never did use my draft speech about George W.
VIZZINI in THE PRINCESS BRIDE
Sir Alec Guinness as Prince Faisal in LAWRENCE OF ARABIA
Winston Churchill, Creator of Iraq and Jordan
Mortimer Durand of the Durand Line
Ibn Saud, the War Chief who has a Nation named after him
Colonel, later General Marcel Bigeard
Charlton Heston as The Religious Villain.



