The Daily Grand and Sundry

There are two types of politicians who have affairs while having public power or public aspirations, or public limelight, The NEEDY ones, and The Charles Parnell types.

THE NEEDY ONES

There was an oil executive,at a major oil company, we will call him, MR. ADONIS. Mr ADONIS was  a swashbuckler,suave, Ivy League educated, could speak five langauges but still could drink with the oil riggers. He was Clark Gable and Warren Beatty combined, and the future President Designate  of the Oil Company.

He had a business trip to Paris, along with him, on that trip was Miss X. She was not attractive, not quite as ugly as Kathy Bates or Rosie O’Donnell, but no middle aged SEX AND THE CITY siren. She was homely, or to quote a fellow worker, she could safely cook naked in a lumberjack camp and not be bothered.

So we have the MR. ADONIS and the Ugly Dumpling in Paris.

She blew the Company’s world apart when she accused MR. ADONIS of sexual harrassment.

All the men in the Company, sat around and laughed their asses off, like our MR. ADONIS would even look at the ugly dumpling.

God, how the men in that Company laughed their asses off at Miss X’s obvious delusions. However, the Chairman of The Board had a pushy wife, who believed Miss X had integrity, so an internal investigation was launched.

The Investigators went to see Mr. ADONIS at his Penthouse.

MR. ADONIS greeted the investigators at the door, with a smile.

“Hey guys, come on in.”

He offered the investigators some expensive wine, or even more expensive Cognac.

They all chatted about Joe Montana being traded from San Francisco to the Kansas City Chiefs. It was a fun, pleasant time for the Investigators.

MR. ADONIS, ” I have to leave shortly for an engagement so lets get this over with.”

So one of the Investigators spoke up, “Miss. X said you came to her  hotel room in Paris, and under the guise of a business question came into her room, and then made improper advances.”

MR. ADONIS, beautiful, manly  MR. ADONIS replied, “What is the problem here? I was doing the bitch a favor.”

Then like all failed scoundrels MR. ADONIS fell into the Salvatore Tessio defense from THE GODFATHER, “Hey guys, can’t you get me out of this? for old times sakes.”

MR. ADONIS was obviously a NEEDY man. He would have done this scandal whether he was in Big Oil or Big Government. The issue was not the scandal per se but his personal defects.

We have needy politicians, who are going to act their impulses regardless of the consequences to themselves or the public weal. They just see their NEEDS,  nothing else matters. Their scandals do not reflect on the nature of politicians, for they would be the same way if they were Pastors, Priests,Big Oil Executives, Actors, Studio Executives, Poets.

Men in this group range from Pastor Jimmy Swaggert, to Poet Ted Hughes(Sylvia Plath’s husband) to Errol Flynn.  Politicians in this group include President Clinton, Barney Frank, Governor  Jim McGreevey of New Jersey, Senator Vitter of Louisiana, and Governor Eliott Spitzer of New York.  They are who they are, and public power does not influence their behavior one way or the other. So the fact they are politicians has no import on their affairs, if they were running a KWIK-E-MART for a living, they would still be giving into their needs.

The Prime example of the NEEDY Man as a Politician was Prime Minister David Lloyd George of Great Britain. A handsome, brilliant, charming dynamo of a man, he was called THE GOAT for his propensity to screw everything in a skirt, but mostly homely women working  for the British Government.

His good friend, Winston Churchill once asked him, why he had affairs with such unattractive women, Lloyd George answered, “Because they are so very grateful.”

That sums up the Needy Politician, the Needy man as a Politician.

THE CHARLES PARNELL Affairs

Charles Stewart Parnell, was the Uncrowned King of Ireland; the most powerful Irish Politician ever, and that includes Michael Collins and DeValera. He was the Man, unstoppable, unbreakable.

Until he had an affair, with a MARRIED woman, in 19th Century CATHOLIC IRELAND. He was pushing for Irish Home Rule against the British Empire. He was at the top of his form, at the apogee of power, beloved by devoted Irishmen….and then…

“Parnell first had contact with Mrs. O’Shea when she acted as liaison in 1885 with Gladstone during proposals for the First Home Rule Bill . He later took up residence with her …On 24 December 1889 Captain O’Shea filed for divorce, citing Parnell as co-respondent…”

D’Uh.  Of all the women, in all the world, Parnell had to pick up with a married woman, in a country, Ireland, that did not tolerate divorce. Does that make any sense?

Yes, if you see the act as self destructive. We have politicians in the Charles Parnell mold, who see that history and destiny has over matched them, and they seek out affairs, in order to be discovered, so that their destiny is thwarted. Their affairs are self destuctive because they are meant to be self destructive.

The affairs stem from the politician’s understanding they are over their heads, and don’t want the Big Future. Governor Sanford’s love sick trek to Argentina is a prime example of this. There was talk about Sanford running for President; Sanford did not want to be president. This way he will never be President. He is content to have the affair ruin him versus the pressures of policy and expectations ruin him.

I submit that both Senator Gary Hart and Senator John Edwards are Charles Parnell politicians, content to be destroyed by affairs versus being defeated on the champ de mars, the field of battle of politics.   

They know in their inner hearts, they are not up to the task, so they screw their chances away before they encounter the Big Failure. Sanford, Hart and Edwards have affairs to do the public, a public service.

Salud to the mistresses of these men for their public service in keeping a man of  self doubt out of higher office.

.Governor Sanford’s Argentine mistress

.DAVID LLOYD GEORGE, THE GOAT

CHARLES STEWART PARNELL, the Uncrowned King of Ireland.

Senator Gary Hart and Donna Rice, the picture which made him Charles Parnell

Tags: Barney Frank, Charles Stewart Parnell, Clark Gable, Governor Eliot Spitzer, Governor Jim McGreevey, Governor Mark Sanford, Kathy Bates, KWIK-E-MART, President Bill Clinton, Prime Minister David Lloyd George, Rosie O'Donnell, Senator David Vitter, Senator Gary Hart, Senator John Edwards, SEX and THE CITY, Sylvia Plath, Ted Hughes, TESSIO, THE GODFATHER, Warren Beatty, Winston Churchill

This entry was posted on Tuesday, June 30th, 2009 at 1:10 am and is filed under Politics. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.